January 9, 2012


This is a special post. (aren't they all?)

*pause* *absorb* *exhale*

Okay, now i don't know what to write.
Its that 'i'm-lost-for-words' moment..
This is a blog about a relationship. But, when I think about that particular relationship, I start thinking about so many other relationships.

First real friends I ever made, apart from my sisters(i less than 3 them foleva), was in nursery school. 
I remember us hiding in the toilet for some reason, and eating from our lunch boxes together. We kinda had a clique.. (IN NURSERY *sigh). I don't remember much about them though. I remember a girl called Amy though. Pretty rich girl.

Secondly, in primary school, we moved towns and i lost all 'initial conditions'. I started from scratch again, having a best friend in my first and second year, but after she moved I had to start from scratch again(argggh). I kind of put friends on a need to be known basis. I kept to myself most of my primary school life, just being courteous and doing what was expected but not really having anyone to tag along with. I concentrated on my studies. And with good reason. (Pressure!) I was an A student and i maintained it until i finished Primary school.

High school from 2k4 to 2k7 was the most tumultuous time of my life. I think it has to do with the hormonal changes and teenage vibes. I tried to keep a cool facade and for the most part I did. During this time i met some of the most amazing people I know. We went through the ups and downs of being teenage girl together. There I met my twin on the first day. She was the sweetest girl ever. I was surprised at how quickly I became fast friends with her. I also met 
  • a class full of crazy people in Form 1N- Form 4N, 
  • 4 desk mates for each year in high school,
  • dorm mates who both irritated me to the max or made me laugh till tears dropped down my face,
  • the drama, music and swimming clubs who kept my high school life super active,
  • the chapel choir who inspired and helped me keep my spiritual life on fire
  • Charming Princesses of God.
In between I had 'moments' with different people. Towards the end of high school I met a person who gave me my first major life experience, got suspended and re-admitted two weeks later. I saw the best and worst in my friends. I shed almost nil tears because of them, because I always had my walls up, so if anyone went behind my back, I could shrug it off and feel nothing. This came across as pride. My senior and friend and almost-mum in chapel choir sat me down and advised me to let go of my pride. It was one of the most real talks I have ever had with anyone and I thank God for her. She is now a succesful designer. (check her designs here ) What may have seemed like a normal pep talk is what really changed me in that time. Thanks A! 

The friends I made in high school (all girls) are keepers. They will be my bridesmaids and my godmothers. However, I tend not to get close to girls, out of habit. I am closer to my guy friends who I make in different seasons of my life. I am more free and unguarded around guys. Its not a trust thing, or maybe it is, I dunno. o.0

    Well, we all have friends who we have had and left, friends who have betrayed us, friends who we have betrayed, friends who passed on, friends who moved on, friends who moved away and friends who stayed. But there are those friends who I can honestly say ARE my friends. They make me smile, we have the most stupid memories together, we have swapped so many stories(not secrets--I don't have any) :) I love my friends. 


    University friends requires a whole other post. Because i had to travel to another continent to meet them. Moving to go to University strained some of my friendships. But when i know we can just pick up where we left off with no offences, then I know you are my true friend.

    Friends are good. 
    I miss my friends in Kenya a lot. :(

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